The past 20 hours of my life ...

were like hell.Yesterday evening I went to a friend to have a little homeparty.So on my way back home I already start feeling weird and puke for the first time just seconds after getting out of the train.Luckily I was able to hold it back until I got out of it.Basically I thoght that my body just was a little weird and couldn't deal with the alcohol I drank eventhough it wasn't that much.After a 20 minute walk in the cold I finally arrive at home at something around 2 am.As I lay in my bed all of a sudden that feeling of having to puke came over me again.I ran into the bathroom and again I just managed to hold it back as long as needed.From this point on I threw up for 1 hour nonstop.Crawling on the ground,freezing and sweating at the same time.To be honest those 60 minutes were one of the narliest,most painful ones I went through in my life.After that hour I finally seemed to get my act together but just as I lay down in my bed again the same shit starts over.Another 30 minutes in the bathroom folow.Anyways at 4 am I guess I fell asleep.When I woke up in the morning I was reliefed that the night was over.I entered the living room already having some weird feeling in my chest.I gladly didn't feel sick anymore.But after a few minutes the weird feeling in my chest evolves to a painful feeling.It literally felt as if everytime I took a breath someone was pushing a knife into my chest.I wasn't able to sit without that pain and when I lay down I noticed it wouldn't help at all.The same with standing up.I had this felt this pain constantly from 10 am to this moment right now.And I still am in pain.Apparently I went to a hospital to have everything checked by a doctor.She told me that I had a gastro-intestinal diseases.She also said that the pain in my chest was caused by my gullet which was infected because I was throwing up so much.I didn't get any medication from the doctor at all.The only thing they offered me was painkillers.Great.So here I sit after 20 hours of physical pain.I won't even start to talk about my psychological state of mind right now.I can deal with physical problems because the usually go away after a certain time span but this emotional shit is stupid.I have to remember the one thing that I learned in the last 2 years:"Negative emotions and regrets are useless,they only hold you back from enjoying your life.".And to end this long post I will cite the Transplants:"Regret nothing,move on and say fuck you."

Welcome to my life

Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you
Do you ever wanna runaway?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you screaming

No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life